Update for the week

The baby is asleep for the moment, which will give you an insight on my wonderful week. First it starts with last week partially when someone stole a total of 205 dollars out of our bank account. They took out of john’s PayPal account which was directly linked to our checking account. This was extremely stressful in its self. We had to file a dispute with the bank to get our money back. And to be reimbursed for the no sufficient fund fees (NSF) accumulated during their investigations. These fees ended up being 105 dollars! I was so upset, stressed because the money that would have gotten us through until today was stolen. It was also supposed to pay our light bill. It’s ridiculous the person who stole our money is somewhere in Australia and we’re unsure if we will be able to press charges or not at this point I am going to look into it through the bank. Yesterday the majority of our funds were returned to us. All but one NSF which will not be returned until the investigation is complete. As soon as that happens this account is being closed and we are switching to Wachovia bank I believe. This has been a stressful week for john at work and then to add this shit on top of that and his recently started classes. Whew I would not have wanted to be in his brain.

John Peter said his first word on Wednesday, he said “Hi” Not that I think he understands what he is saying but he said it really early I think. He can also say “da” and “ma” but since hi is the first word John and I have both heard him say I am going to count that as his first word. He really said da first then ma and then hi. But I think it is only fair I count the word we both have herd first. He can say these things clear as day and it sounds odd amongst his normal baby babblings. Which in themselves are amazing!

I find myself looking forward to my first mother’s day, I don’t really know what to expect but I am very excited. I think it’s interesting that last year I conceived Jp on mother’s day J lol just interesting is all ya know?

I am again in pursuit of my hopefully so to be ex-husband, I want to get a divorce so that john and I can get married, I want to be married before JP is a year old. But can you blame me? For five years I have been married to the wrong man. I want to make john and my vows to each other legal. We have vowed ourselves to each other but can’t do anything legal until I am divorced. Which is a pain because now we are going to have to do a will in order for us to have what we want done properly if anything should happen to us both. I do think about that kind of stuff because of how young my mom was when she passed away.

It’s been 18 years now btw since that happened. Just thought I would throw that out there.
I am outta here I am going to go mess around on the internet, don’t know what I am going to do yet but I will figure it out. I am going to clean the bathroom today since john worked his ass off today and cleaned the kitchen last night. I want to get the cleaning done tonight so we can relax this weekend, so I am going to do whatever I can before john gets home so he doesn’t feel like he is obligated to do it all. He has given me a lot of slack on the house work because I have not been feeling well.

I think I am going to get this IUD taken out its making me sick, and making me think I am pregnant. I want to be able to tell for sure if I am or not so I think I am going to switch to a oral BC method, so that way if I’m getting the symptoms I will know when to take a test.

This is loralei running off into the sunset with my hubby, my son, my cat, and my dog lol

Big Huge update

I know that it’s been awhile since I’ve written anything anywhere, things have been strange, and I haven’t been feeling well. I can’t wait to get a doctor so I can get my blood sugar back under control. I have put myself on a strict regiment again but it doesn’t seem to be helping at the moment. As soon as I can get insurance I am going to get in to see a doc so that I can be healthy for John and JP. I am stressed and I have had a toothache off and on for the last two weeks, but without insurance there isn’t much I can do about that at the moment. Other then take care of my teeth the best that I can. As for the blood sugar I am taking a higher dose then was prescribed in VT. I am supposed to be taking 10 units of Lantus two times a day and only 3 units with meals. It was discouraging because it wasn’t working so I stopped taking it. I also think it is a little post partum depression too making me not care about myself. I have made a resolution to take care of it so I can be healthy for my family. So, now I am taking 25 tow times a day and I am going to go back to the carbohydrate ratio it seemed to be working much better than a just a lump of short acting insulin. I need to get on the pump like Meg Costello said. I think once I get a pump it will be much much easier. So I am keeping track of my blood sugars and what I am eating again like I did when I was pregnant with JP. I think that will help the doctors see what needs to be done.


Speaking of JP he is doing well, eating like a little piggy he is eating between 6 and 8 oz every feeding, and he eats about every 3 to 4 hours depending on his hunger levels. I no longer wake him for feedings he does it himself, so far today he has eaten 17 oz and he is nowhere near done! He is very good at keeping himself occupied, and can hold his rattle himself, there is video on MySpace of this. He is still having trouble following your voice if you are not mom or dad, and he seems to still have a little trouble with this. Those of you who have had the pleasure of seeing, meeting, and holding him would be so surprised at how much bigger he has become! He is up to 24” long, and at last check up (about a week ago) was 11 pounds even! His head is 15 1/3” around! I just can’t believe how much bigger he has become. At his two months well child check he was only in the 3rd percentile at 11 wks he has gone up to the 20th percentile for height and weight and the 10th percentile for head circumference! He is a growing baby boy! I am very proud of the little man!


John and I are doing very well, we have adjusted to caring for JP together nicely and we truly have a stronger bond together since we have been able to be together again. It’s amazing that we just kind of picked up where we left off when I moved back to Vermont last July. It’s soothing to be here when he gets home from work. Just as it is comforting to know that once he gets home I have a little help with the little man. John just started online classes, and seems to be doing ok. I don’t think it is stressing him out nearly as much as work is! He has been doing a lot of overtime, which is good for his paycheck but stressful for him. He had to work on Jp’s first Easter because someone called out sick. I don’t think it made him very happy. He will be working late for the next week and I am not sure how long after that. It’s hard on John and I can see that, but hopefully this going back to school will allow him to move up higher on the company ladder.


Poppa is currently out of the hospital for another two weeks, then he will go in to have his skin graph done and his fistulas repaired and once he heals enough he will be able to come home down here! I can’t wait they said he is doing well and is healing much better than they expected. He is really glad to be out of the hospital and to be with Sylvia spending time with her before he comes home! This is all I have time to write for now, I need to start dinner so it will be done when john gets home, and I want to vacuum the living room while JP is awake!

Feeling out of sorts with the world

I haven't blogged anywhere in so long I am glad to finally have a few minutes of spare time in order to write about something. Shit anything to get my mind of everyday shit. I want to start writing stories again. But, I've had writers block for so long I think I'm going to need a sludge hammer to break it!

Being a mom takes up a lot of my time, don't get me wrong it's totally worth it! Lack of sleep though seems to be getting to me. I have trouble getting up in the morning to do anything! There's that time frame where I just want to roll back over (as long as my son isn't there) and go right back to sleep, to catch those dreams I can't seem to remember anymore. Granted things have gotten easier since I've been back in Maryland with John but still it's hard to want to motivate.

I'm not depressed or anything, just feel liek I don't have any time to myself, which I don't, my time equals Jp's time when he's awake, and my time gets forgotten as soon as John gets home from work since we always seem to have something or other to do as soon as he gets here. whether it's going to his moms, cleaning, going shopping, going for a walk, or taking someone somewhere. It seems like we have company everyday and I have no fucking family time.

I don't understand why we have to do everything at once, we have an appartment we should be staying here and spending time together as a family. Getting to know our son teaching our son the things he needs to learn. He needs to do more belly time, he needs to become better at grasping objects instead of fingers in his hands. He's very advanced but there are things I feel he is behind in. I might be just being paranoid but who the fuck knows.

I try not to bother people with my prblems and i guess i shouls stop doing that. I don't want to hurt so and so's feelings. But I can't hold this shit in or I will get depressed and it will affect John Peter.

I'll put it this way, I miss my family, they miss me, and they miss Jp that hurts. I know this is what I need to be doing, being away from them I mean. But shit does it have to hurt so much? I'm worried about my dad knew I would be and now he's telling me there may be cause for my concern. I am trying to cheer him up by ordering pictures for him through snap fish and having them delivered to his door. I hope that helps him feel better. I hope that things get better for him.

This is all I have time to post right now, I have to go feed JP he just got up, I changed him while I wrote part of this, but I need to go play with him so he will be happy lol maybe try to feed the loittle guy a bottle.